Shackles bound my hands and feet as I was confined in a bare room with darkness as my companion. I hated the distress he caused me, but I loved the state of severity I lived in (John 3:19). While I was satisfied with my chains, I harbored hatred toward the judge who deemed me worthy of them. He said I was a transgressor and though I wholeheartedly disagreed I was pleased to live as one (Eph. 2:1). After I lived some time in this state the judge called me to attend a court of law for my trial. I thought he may have come to his senses and decided I was innocent since my initial hearing.
I will say it now; I was not innocent. I was ever so guilty, and the judge was not ignorant of any of my offenses. In fact, he knew them better than I did, for every single one of my transgressions was against him (Josh. 7:20). Regardless, I was without care and the only passion I felt was resentment toward him.
Now that I have said all I desire about my previous state, I will explain my day in court. As I approached the court doors, I was filled with rage so immense that I could not hold my tongue from cursing the judge. However, the moment I saw his face there was a sudden change as I was overcome by fear and I could barely walk to the defendant's table (Prov. 10:24). Once I reached the table I collapsed into my chair. The judge began to speak with a booming voice but I scarcely comprehended anything he said. I was in the face of wrath (Eph. 2:3). I recall the moment I felt his fury more than ever before. My spirit was crushed as he read aloud all of my transgressions. As he read each of them his words seemed to bounce off the walls and hit me in the gut. It was as if a mirror had been held up to my face and all I was able to see was a cold-blooded Barabbas staring back at me. I didn’t want to see the image any longer but I could not push the mirror away from my face. I saw the wickedness of my offenses and I shriveled to the floor in terror (Ps. 130:3). I began to repeatedly whisper to myself, “I should suffer eternal torment for my wrongs.” I was undone.
Moments after this, a well-known man from my town entered the courtroom. My mind began to flood with questions as to why he appeared at my trial. Had he come to tell the judge more of my faults? Did he desire to see me plead guilty? I did not know, but I felt all the more despicable as I turned my head to look at him, for he was a man known for his virtue and his very presence condemned me (Luke 5:8). The people of the town spoke well of his character, but I despised him, thinking him only to be a hypocrite. At this time, I did not know what to think of him, but I had no care for what he thought of me as I trembled on the floor of the courtroom. My reputation no longer concerned me. He looked my way as he began to walk toward the judge. His eyes seemed to be set on my grief while he also had a look of determination on his face (Heb. 12:2).
As he made his way I turned my head toward the judge and I was shocked to see a look of pleasure on his face, as all I saw before was his fury. I was perplexed and hopeless. Once again the judge’s voice resounded. Now, the man of virtue stood before the judge and the judge said to him, “the woman at the defendant’s table is bound by her transgressions and her offenses are many.” He pointed in my direction as he spoke and I felt as if his finger poked my already-wounded soul. He continued, saying, “However, I know you to be a man of love and you know me to be a man of justice and justice demands punishment for her wrongs. So now I ask, will you take her chains thus granting her freedom?”. At the sound of those words, my body ceased to quiver. If I could have spoken I would have objected and reminded the judge of my transgressions, but I did not as I was powerless to even open my mouth. However, the judge had spoken and I am certain that no person could shut his. Still, the beauty of this moment was not over for the man of virtue stepped forward, without hesitation, and said, “I will take her chains. Punish me in her place so she may be free” (Gal. 3:13). Without thought, I let out loud cries and exclaimed, “the man of virtue did not come to condemn me, but to free me!”.
At that moment, the judge walked toward me and with a key in his hand, gently helped me to my feet, and immediately unlocked the shackles that bound me (John 8:36). Now, he had a look of pleasure on his face as he fixed his eyes on mine. My soul only knew joy. I said to myself, “I am justified! I am counted blameless because of the merit of the man of virtue!” (Col. 1:22).
Moments later, I froze as a doubt crept into my mind and I thought, “this is too glorious to be true. Certainly, another will condemn me or the judge will change his mind.” Suddenly, I was struck by fear once again. Just then, the judge looked upon me and said, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you? Neither do I condemn you; go, and from now on sin no more” (John 8:10b, 11b).
As I look back on my day in court, my heart is overwhelmed with joy and gratitude. In fact, I feel a greater sense of these emotions now than I did on that day. I make it my aim to never forget that day lest I be filled with sorrow. However, I will always recall my day in court. Indeed, I won’t forget my chains, but my memory of the man of virtue will always be first on my mind. For He worked such a glorious salvation for me that I could never return to my chains. Now I live a life of freedom forevermore (Gal. 5:1).
"Since, therefore, we have now been justified by his blood, much more shall we be saved by him from the wrath of God."
Romans 5:9
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